Friday, July 29, 2011

Finding my inner Bee-arch.

I have always been a nice girl.  
I avoid conflict.  
I never even threw tantrums as a toddler. 
When I was six I had a friend who would walk to school with me and then leave me at gate with the condition that she would pretend we weren't friends at school....and I agreed to that.  
In contrast to this, when she was about the same age my younger sister punched a boy in the nose for saying something mean to her. 
I have never punched anyone and I have never been punched. 
It's just not in my nature.  
While I am no longer the pushover people pleaser that I used to be (just ask my husband), the whole aggressive side of derby is still not coming very naturally to me.  I don't want to hurt anyone and I immediately apologise if I do knock anyone down (which admittedly doesn't happen very often yet.)  
It doesn't help that I actually like all the people in my league either - if only one of them would just piss me off enough that would help.....
So I've asked around a bit and I'm going to try a few things:
  • I'm going to think of someone I don't like until I get aggravated enough to be aggressive
  • I am going to repeat the following mantra "I am not sorry - I will not apologise."
  • I am not going to 'hit' people just move them out of my way
  • I'm going to work on my core strength (again) so I can be more confident that hitting someone else will leave me standing at the end of it- rather than just bouncing off them to sprawl on the floor myself. 
We start our skills testing on in a week.  For those of you who don't know you have to pass a skills test and a rules test before you can bout. 
It's a bit tricky - I will be happy if I pass over half of it at this stage.
Wish me luck!  

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