Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Nemesis of a freshmeat

So I am just about there.....passed most of the skills test and got 100% on the rules test.  
I have been practising and I know I can now do most of the things that I need to re-sit.  
Only two things stand in my way.
About 15 seconds and 3 inches.
Doesn't sound like much I know but it feels like more than enough.  
I have been trying for weeks to lift my feet higher than an inch when I jump but they just won't go there damn it. 
Cue flashbacks to high-jumping at primary school athletics day.  I'm just no Tigger.
And as for the 25 laps in 5 mins - I tried it last week and made 24 - so squeezing only one more lap out should be easy right? 
I should add that I completely emptied the tank on that attempt though - collapse on the floor and feel like I will vomit emptied - so I just don't know where I'm going to get that other lap from.
It always amazes me when I go to write a blog about derby and discover that I've learnt something really important about life in general.  
Like how we can work so hard to achieve what we want in life and get held up by something so small.  It's never the big stuff that trips me up.  The crises seem manageable - my adrenaline kicks in and people rally around to support and help.  
But the little, simple things can suck me dry and grind my dreams to a halt.  
Like still trying to toilet train Hamish, like feeding my family everyday, like sorting the washing again, like being patient with my children.  
It's a little embarrassing to admit that I find these simple things hard, that it's those things that can make me feel like I'm failing.  It's shameful to ask for support for day to day stuff that should be easy peasy.  
But I have a funny feeling that I'm not the only one and sometimes just saying something out loud makes it easier.  I also have the feeling that, just like derby, these things would seem more achievable when you've got a whole team of people to help you get there.  I don't know why we are so obsessed with doing things on our own, coping, was never meant to be that way I'm sure of it.  
So who's on your team???

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