Make it work....

Today we have been married for 14 years.  And as much as I wish I could take full credit for making it this far I know that, while I have done some things right, there are a whole heap of things that I have done wrong.  We got married when we were 21 - I didn't even really know myself let alone be ready to know another person. 
I have been selfish and thoughtless and lazy and blase too many times to count and so has my husband.  
We have watched other couples break up and divorce and know that 'there but for the grace of God go I'.  I don't know why it has worked apart from that my husband is a very patient man and that we talk and laugh a lot.  
Overall we have a Tim Gunn approach to marriage...

"Carry On" 

and 

"Make it Work"

and it's worked so far but I don't want to take it for granted that it will be enough to keep it working.  

So for the next 14 years I want to try to be more self-less and thoughtful and diligent and enthusiastic about our marriage.

Goodbye

We have said good bye to our neighbours, and yes - I actually miss them.  This may surprise those of you who have heard about all the dramas over the years.  

Some things I definately don't miss:

• the dogs that would squeeze through the fence and run around our back yard.  Being of the 'sometimes we maim young children breed' Iain fixed the fence Fort Knox style and was rewarded with a bite on the leg while doing it. Zoe wrote one of her first stories at school about it. 

•  the late night drunken fights that had us phoning the police

•  the local kids using their kitchen as a lookout while their mates broke in through the back window - at least they were upset about this too.  Tracey* (the mum) wrote me an enraged letter from prison  "If I was at home there would be serious consequences for the little bastards..." and her brother did try very hard to get our stuff back for us.  He arrived that night triumphant with our missing laptop, except it wasn't our laptop - I wonder how many he had to choose from?  Also in the letter: "I heard when my brother went to your whare lil Hamish kicked him and called him a meanie.  He obviously thought my brother was the culprit.  How sweet and loyal young Hamish is."

• Kitty stealing scallops and sausages put out to thaw for the evening barbie.  

They always meant well and tried to be good neighbours and they always made sure they put wrongs right. 

Yes it was an interesting relationship but at least it was a relationship - now the people next door are strangers.  

We will have to do our best to make sure it doesn't stay that way.

They say it better than I could!

Here is the gorgeous thankyou video Zoe's school made.....

wainoni-says-thank-you

YKYKAFCW*....

.....they stand on the gray silt in the gutter and declare "I'm standing on liquefaction Mum." (and can explain in detail what it actually is!)

.....they see an old rundown house and exclaim "Whoa! That house must be red stickered!"

...they see a half-built house in another town and say "Look Mummy - that house was broken in the earthquake."

But Hamish takes the prize for positive thinking...

"Maybe all the cracks on the ground was the earthquake drawing pictures for us." 

*for those of you not familiar with the synonym YKYFCW = you know you're from Christchurch when.  YKYKAFCW = you know you're kids are from Christchurch when.

Struck....twice....twice....

"It can't happen again!"  

It's what I was thinking when I was holding on tightly to Erin and to the bed so that we didn't get thrown across the room. I wasn't thinking about all the stuff I could hear breaking, I wasn't thinking about Iain at work or even the kids at school and kohanga - it was just 

"You've got to kidding me? Again?!"

And it's what I was thinking when I was sitting in the doctors office with Erin last weekend.  A week earlier my nephew had been whisked to the hospital for tests after a seemingly normal trip to the doctor - it had ended with him in Christchurch to start treatment for leukemia.  And here I was popping into see the doctor about Erins sore leg and after a clear xray we too were being whisked to the hospital for tests.  I was assured that it was not going to be anything sinister like cancer but just like the 6.3 the epicentre was even closer this time.  

 So two days in the hospital - more clear xrays, a clear MRI and clear blood tests- we have a semi-diagnosis of 'irritable hip' which will apparently go away by itself.  

Once again I am appreciating the Normal that I take for granted everyday - like my precious babies and how sweet and fragile they are.

Wordless Wednesday