Time for a Break

It's been a blissfully quiet weekend in my whare with only Erin and I here.
Iain took the older two to the Sounds for a McConnell clan holiday and with Erin only just recovering from the chickenpox we couldn't risk her sharing with her cousin who's in the middle of leukemia treatment.
So with just the two of us it has been very relaxing, time to catch up on some sleep and recharge after having the lot of them home over the holidays. Erin has enjoyed some time to explore and do her own thing to without so many 'helpers' around.

I love my children and I am grateful for each one of them, but it is just so exhausting with three of them around. There is always someone who wants something from me or who is fighting it out with someone else.
I am really looking forward to seeing them tonight when they return and I am looking forward to them starting the school year tomorrow morning...now that's what you call perfect timing. :)
I found it funny to reflect that I would have completely stressed out at the the thought of being left alone to care for Zoe when she was the only one. Now it seems like a walk in the park, having three has certainly upped the anti.
Another 'break' to mention is that I have broken up my blog.
I looked at the description I had written when I started this blog and realized that I didn't actually write about parenting or community or God that much anymore.
I also realized that I still wanted to write about those things and not just roller derby!
So I have started a new blog solely about my derby delights and dilemmas, you can follow it on here if you want.
Hopefully this will encourage me to still write about the other parts of my life too.
I'll let you in on a little secret....I mostly write these blogs for me...because I enjoy writing and because it helps me think about things and process what's happening.
I write them to help me reflect and keep me honest.
And I share them because I have appreciated reading the honesty and reflections of others over the years. They have helped me grow and learn and feel less alone.
So even though I write for myself I hope that in some small way by reading it that you can feel less alone too.

'To know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.' Waldo Emerson

Surviving scrimmage

I've scrimmaged and lived to tell the tale....and here it is.....
It's fair to say I was a little nervous at practice on Friday night....okay....so I was packing myself.
I really didn't feel like I was up to having my first full hitting scrimmage with the old meat.
I had just had a long break over Christmas from skating and exercise, like most people I guess, except that I had the perfect excuse in the form of a mild concussion that I'd got at practice beginning of December. Drs orders meant I could enjoy a lazy break guilt free. 
So come Friday I was close to wimping out actually....except that I didn't get a chance to.  
I was pretty much told that I was going to scrimmage (interesting to note that I am more scared of our coach than of taking part in scrimmage.) 
I decided that I would try the first couple of jams, and when it became obvious to everyone that I was way out of my depth I could ungracefully bow out for the rest.
But there was a flaw in my plan...
I couldn't stop after a couple of jams because I was having too much fun! 
And I wasn't completely useless either.
Turns out I have gotten fitter and can now skate more than one jam in a row without feeling like I'm going to vomit.
And all the strength exercises must be starting to make a difference too because I didn't feel like a rag doll on wheels out there, and I didn't fall over every time I got hit (just 90% of the time but hey baby steps....) 
Towards the end of the practice I got really brave...yep I actually tried to hit other skaters.
Wimpy, ineffectual hits.... but I willingly made aggressive contact with another skater in a pack....look out I tell you I'm on a roll...(very bad pun unintentional but duly noted). 
I still have a ways to go and lots of hard work to do but I was encouraged by the progress I have made.
I'm beginning to feel cautiously optimistic that I could be bout ready in time to join Team Glee on the track come February 25th...

Awesome doll my mum made me for Christmas.

Hard knocks and the bout at the end of the rainbow.....

So I am finally skills tested and it feels awesome.
But quicker than you can say 'bask in the glory of your achievement' I am back to square one with another goal to reach and so much to learn.
You see now I'm not just skating around, occasionally practising hits.  In drills you almost always know when a hit is coming- you expect it and brace yourself for it.
Not in scrimmage - in scrimmage you get hit all the time when you're already busy.
Busy trying to see where your jammer is (so you don't get in their way), where their jammer is (so you don't let them skate right past you on the inside line making you look like a complete moron), what the refs are doing (so you know to go off when they call you for back-blocking and cutting the track...again....) and other important things like remembering which team you are on (so you don't try and knock over your own pivot).
It's while you are trying to do all that that you get hit in scrimmage, and you get hit hard, and you fall hard in a pack with a bunch of other skaters.  Kinda like this...............

..........but with 4 times the wheels.

And the teams were announced for our next bout 'Rainbow Spite' on the 25th Feb.
Team Gaga vs Team Glee.
I have been put on Team Glee with the condition that I am good enough to bout by then.
So I am excited but I'm also a little freaked out.
I have work to do - lots of it.  I need to build up my strength so that I don't fall down everytime another skater even looks like they are going to hit me - it's not safe for me or them!
I also don't want to skate my first bout until I am good enough to be useful - to pull my weight in the team, I don't want to fill a spot just because it's there.
I'd say it's 50/50 whether I can get to the level I need to be in time but it's good to have another goal to aim for.
It would be awesome to skate on Team Glee, we have some guest skaters coming to skate for us, one who just skated with Team New Zealand in the Roller Derby World Cup.
So that would mean that I could skate with someone who had skated with Suzy Hotrod....one degree of derby seperation to this.....

Confessions from the derby heart...

So I am hoping to be fully skills tested by the end of the week and I am super proud of how far I have come but I also have a confession to make.......

I am still ridiculously unfit - and I am not exaggerating.  

I started at the gym two weeks ago and I have had 2 assessments with a personal trainer (who also happens to be an awesome roller derby sister) and I am floored by how unwell I am even after doing regular exercise for 6 months.  

To begin with we tested my resting heartrate, which was 101 beats per minute.  

To be fair it wasn't greatly rested (having just sculled my morning coffee, rushed the two older children to school, and left my little one in childcare for the first time ever) and I was likely a little anxious about the whole thing but still.....

Gave me a bit of a fright actually and was very motivating to keep exercising!  

So like I do most things I googled it when I got home - it turns out that if I was in the 65+ age bracket my heart rate should be under 84 bpm to be in the healthy zone.  Holy Moley - am I glad I took up derby...maybe I could buy one of these tshirts.....

It's funny because when people find out that I've taken up derby a lot of them think it's a bit foolish, risky even....I could get badly hurt.  

I think that finally finding a sport that motivates me enough to get fit and active far outweighs any injuries that I might get.   

The last time I had to claim on ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) it was when I hurt my knee learning derby, the time before it was when I hurt my back lifting something out of the car - I know which I would rather have happen.

In fact I used to hurt myself far more doing normal stuff before derby - my body was in such bad shape it was in no condition to cope with everyday life. 
So here's to a healthier heart, fitter body, and finally passing my minimum skills test (fingers crossed.)

Running on empty.

Maybe I'm allergic to Santa??  
Every year about now, when the silly season kicks into gear and the shops put up their Christmas decorations, my mental health plummets.  
It's not because I overdo it - it happens before the calendar is full of end of year events and the 'things to do before 25th December' list is written. 
I thought this year might be different, with all the extra exercise and taking care of myself but no, here I am again...struggling to get through the day.  
It's almost like my tank isn't big enough to get me to the end of the year - the warning light starts to flicker in October and by November I'm free wheeling it, desperately looking around for someone to give me a much needed push or tow so I can make it to the end.  
Anyone know where I can upgrade to a bigger tank for next year??  
Or maybe I just need to adjust my driving style so I don't use up as much fuel.......

Derby Firsts

So having not been swept to sea by a tsunami last week (Wave of crazy)

...many thanks to those who interceded on behalf of the sinful people of East Christchurch and saved us from God's impending wrath....

I had an awesome weekend of Derby firsts..first boot camp, first public appearance on skates and got to watch my first live bouts. 
The bootcamp was completely overwhelming.  
One of the main things I noticed was how hard everyone hit me - I knew my league were nice to me as a freshie but it was an eyeopener to train with girls from so many different leagues who had no idea I was such a wuss.  
It was great - once I got used to it I discovered how much fun it is to get hit hard and how much easier it makes it to hit other people hard.  
Having said that I did fumble and stumble my way through most of the day feeling like I would never be good enough to actually bout.  
So to stop myself from getting too discouraged I focused on getting slightly better than I was.  So in the one footed slalom I completely sucked but by the end I sucked slightly less.  
I also decided that if at the end of the day I would be able to name one major skill I was better at - you guessed it...falling- I was awesome at falling by the end of the day.

Swept away on a wave of crazy

I apologise in advance for my second ranty-ish blog in two days.  

But apparently my city will be washed away by a huge tsunami today so I wanted to squeeze one last blog in....

Yes that's right folks someone has 'prophesied' that Christchurch will be hit today by a tsumani big enough to reach Princess Margaret Hospital.  That would have to be as big as the Japan tsunami - which is amazing since we don't actually have a subduction plate setup offshore that would create it.

It doesn't hugely surprise me that someone would come up with a crazy story like that - what does surprise me is that people have listened to it.....and told other people....and so on.

Really everyone just stop it!  The people of Christchurch have had enough of the crazy!  
Because in all honesty no matter how stupid and unrealistic your story is each of us has that little kid inside that freaks out when we hear this stuff.  
We have been through it...more than once...we know what can happen...and we don't want it to happen again.  
Everyday we try and ignore the fact that it can happen again so that we can get on with our lives.  So when we hear something like this it reminds us again - we don't want to be reminded.  It's like finding the sore spot on someone and poking a sharp stick at it - it's just downright mean.
 
And then to have the cheek to say that God told you it would happen and that it is His judgement on the people of Christchurch for still not listening to Him?   
Now you've really made me angry.  
And what amazes me is how people who have a faith in God run for the hills when they hear stuff like this.  Surely those of us with a faith should be the bravest and the strongest in the face of a disaster? 

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." 

1 John 4:18 

See now look what you've made me do - pull out a Bible verse and everything.

I'm going to have to quote something else now - just so I don't sound like a religious nutter. 
So I'll finish with a line from one of my favourite movies.....

"Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here"

Melvin - 'As good as it gets'